85. How better listening can improve your life and business - with Stan Slovin

In this insightful episode of the Practical Leadership Podcast, Paul Morton sits down with Stan Slovin, wealth management veteran, rock musician, and author of Better Listening. Together, they explore why active listening is a critical, often overlooked skill in both professional and personal settings, and how mastering it can transform your relationships, leadership style, and career success.

Key Takeaways:

• Listening to Respond vs. Listening to Understand
  We’re all guilty of it—waiting for the other person to stop talking so we can jump in with our “brilliant” point. But Stan reveals the real power lies in listening to understand. When you let people empty their bucket, you move from surface conversations to meaningful dialogue.
• The Art of Pausing and Reflecting
  Want to become a better leader? Try pausing before you respond, reflect on what the other person is really saying, and practice empathetic listening. This small change can turn any interaction into a more collaborative, effective conversation.
• Hijacking Conversations and How to Avoid It
  Stan shares some humorous yet painful truths about how we often hijack conversations. His advice? Pause, reflect, and let the other person talk—they might have something crucial to share.
• Active Listening as a Leadership Superpower
  When leaders actively listen, they can create more impactful connections with their teams, clients, and even family members. Stan’s tips on how to combine active listening with empathy will help you build stronger, more collaborative relationships.

Timestamped Quotes:

• 00:05:23 – "We’re not listening to understand, we’re listening to respond."
  Stan explains how this mindset is detrimental to both professional and personal interactions.
• 00:07:11 – "It’s not just about hearing the words; it’s about listening for the feelings."
  This insight reveals the deeper layer of effective communication.
• 00:16:00 – "People leave companies because they don’t feel heard."
  Stan points out that a lack of listening is a top reason for employee disengagement and turnover.
• 00:16:57 – "Thank you for finally listening to me."
  A heartwarming story where a CEO applies Stan's techniques and gets this response from his daughter.

Chapters:

• [00:01:00] Introduction to Listening and Leadership
  Paul and Stan dive into the critical role that listening plays in effective leadership and how we often fail to do it well.
• [00:06:00] The Power of Pausing Before Responding
  Stan shares practical strategies for leaders to pause and reflect during conversations, creating space for better understanding.
• [00:16:30] Real-Life Examples of Better Listening
  From personal to professional contexts, Stan provides examples where improving listening led to stronger connections and more productive outcomes.
• [00:28:30] Practical Tips for Active Listening
  Learn the tools you need to become an active listener, from mirroring and summarising to pausing and reflecting.

Actionable Insights:

1. Pause Before You Speak
   Take two seconds to reflect on what’s been said before responding. This gives you time to think and shows the other person you care.
2. Reflect Back and Clarify
   Use phrases like “Tell me more,” or “Help me understand” to encourage deeper dialogue.
3. Practice Empathy
   Empathy in listening goes beyond hearing words—listen for feelings and context.

Stan Slovin’s approach to better listening isn’t just about improving business relationships. It’s about enhancing every conversation you have, making you a more empathetic, understanding, and impactful leader.

To learn more from Stan and unlock the full power of listening, check out his book Better Listening, now available on Amazon!

https://www.betterlisteningbook.com/

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